Not So Friendly Reminder

So clearly I've taken a break from blogging... the last time I created a post was way back when before we even moved back to California! If I were going to be completely honest with you I would say the reason I stopped blogging was because I didn't want a certain someone reading our blog and having access to the family she chose to leave behind.

{if you want to read the post explaining what took place a year ago - here it is}  {and/or you want to read the blog about how we found out she was married - its here}

Its been a year since Andrea, Jon's Mother, lied over and over to us (and family) about every aspect of her life and then packed up and moved out to marry a man she hadn't seen in over thirty years. She left behind kids that were heart broken that their Grandmother left (she was living with us) without saying goodbye. She had plenty of warnings that if she didn't start fighting for her family that we would be forced to close the door to any relationship. When she chose to drive off without saying goodbye, my sister in law called her and told her she better say goodbye to those babies and to Jon. Just over a year later and she still hasn't picked up the phone to call him once...

There have been the short little text on holidays over the year simply acknowledging the holiday, no more than 6, and then a not so friendly reminder on his birthday - a mean spirited text message. Without a doubt the text was meant to be hurtful or stir up feelings of anger or create drama. However, if you know my husband you know he is the most relaxed man. He takes things with a grain of salt. He doesn't hold grudges, he doesn't hate, and he doesn't anger easily. Even on those days when I might be looking for a fight, and all emotional, he never falls into it, as he handles things with grace and love. So this nasty text came in on his birthday and he laughed. He said it follows her personality and its nothing new - that it actually just proves what he had said a year ago - she's a manipulator  and this was her attempt to manipulate the situation again.

The text did however leave him considering getting a new phone number. After all, it was a northern Virginia phone number and we are now living in southern California again. She hasn't tried to call him once in year since she left so what difference would it make changing the phone number. Two weeks ago he did.

I had decided I was going to start blogging again. I miss it. I miss writing about our crazy days, flour being spilled all over the kitchen, toilets overflowing after toys were flushed, and of course about all the great amazing blessings we have as a family. I actually started a blog post --- it was a long one with all sorts of updates and highlights from the last year. We have been so blessed and have had so many adventures that I wanted to give a big update before diving back into the daily blogging. Then Zekie broke his arm and things have been a little chaotic. I had just said to Jon that this weekend my goal was to finish this and get the ball rolling on my blog again... then for some reason, which I'm still not clear on, Jon decided to set up the facebook app on his phone (I've only been pushing this since we got the iphones 8 months ago) and all the sudden he looks at me with a very puzzled look and says, "Randy's been sending me messages"....

Randy is Andrea's husband - the guy she married that she knew way back when in high school. I met the guy for a whole five minutes when he showed up at our house in Texas. Now Jon has "met" him via social media. Jon is never on facebook so he had no clue that Randy had sent him anything until tonight. There were three messages from the past month or so. It was the "not so friendly reminder" of her manipulation and typical behavior. I find it disgusting that a former Pastor (according to Andrea, although now I question everything she's ever told me so I'm not sure if he really was or not) would send such  messages.

I said a year ago when I wrote about the whole "andrea situtation" that part of the reason I wanted to write about it was that 1. we often assist others in their bad behavior because we don't want to draw light on it and air the dirty laundry. I strongly feel that when someone is allowed to hide their destructive behavior those that hide it are just as guilty as the one doing it (enabling). I wanted to be honest and clear on what had happened. and 2. because I wanted to have my close friends and family know the details to remind me why we made this choice for our family to keep her out of the kids lives - why it would be an unhealthy relationship they didn't need. I knew I would need the reminder that this was the best choice for us....

So now I'm writing and letting you all know that I still will never understand how a mother doesn't fight for her family even when her kids are begging her too. However if she wants to read this blog to pretend to be a part of our life then go for it.

Its been thrown around that Jon needs to forgive her, that he has bitterness to her - and again I have to say - if you knew my husband, if you knew your son, you would know that this is furthest from the truth. You never took the chance to know me, yet I will tell you that as much as I want to have resentment or anger towards you for the pain you have caused my husband and my children, I do not. I have sympathy for you. I feel sorry for you and that you have chosen to not enjoy one of the greatest gifts of life - being a grandmother, being a mom, being a family. I am grateful for technology and that even if you have chosen to not be active in this family that you can at least sit behind the screen and see that we are blessed, we are happy, and we are so in love with our family because as Mom that is what I hope I can see in my children as they grow.

Therefore my blog is back and I say welcome!